


Never Going Back Again

by taniaterror



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mention of Child Abuse, lewis snart - mentioned - Freeform, one of these fools has piercings, read to find out who has what pierced!, smut with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 11:42:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16953357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taniaterror/pseuds/taniaterror
Summary: At some point, Sara could tell that Leonard noticed she'd forgotten their game and was openly staring at him now. He let it go on for a while, pretending to focus on his cards. She smiled in her amusement. It was always so easy for them to switch from one game to another.





	Never Going Back Again

**Author's Note:**

> _Never Going Back Again_ by Fleetwood Mac is actually a break up song, so I'm just stealing the song title and _not_ the meaning because the title itself sounds good and is applicable to what's written in this fic. Ok, let's get into it!

The trail for Savage had gone cold again. For now, all the team could do was keep themselves busy as the Waverider floated through the Temporal Zone. This is what brought Sara to challenge Leonard to another one of their card games. They sat together on Leonard's bed, cross-legged, with their cards between them.

By now, Mick had returned to the team but he did not return to his room with Leonard. Their separation and reunion had been painful, in more ways than one, but it had also made them realize that maybe they were a little too codependent. And with the sleeping arrangements being what they were - Ray and Kendra in one room, Rip and Stein in another, and Jax, Sara, and Leonard in separate rooms (Jax was in his own room because he and the Professor needed _some_ time away from each other) - that left three unoccupied rooms. Mick took one of those as his own.

Sara glanced up from her cards at Leonard, wondering how Leonard was adapting. For all his lone wolf posturing, he didn't seem like the type of person who liked to sleep alone. It had to feel different for Leonard sleeping alone when Mick wasn't on board than with Mick only a few rooms down. And it was evident from his attachments to his partner and his sister that whoever Leonard liked to keep close, he liked to keep them _real_ close.

At some point, Sara could tell that Leonard noticed she'd forgotten their game and was openly staring at him now. He let it go on for a while, pretending to focus on his cards. She smiled in her amusement. It was always so easy for them to switch from one game to another.

Leonard met her eyes. "What were we playing again?"

Sara's smile turned into a full-fledged grin. "I was just thinking."

"Always a dangerous sign," Leonard said with a smirk.

"Remember how I said dying can feel lonely?"

Judging by how still his body went, Leonard hadn't been expecting that. Neither had Sara, but she couldn't take it back now.

"I remember."

"Sometimes living can feel like that too, huh?" She said this not really expecting an answer, and Leonard didn't. She sighed, and tossed her cards at the pile, readjusting herself on the bed until she was lying down with her hands folded on her stomach.

Leonard didn't seem to mind. In more recent days, their casual touches had turned into lingering ones. He gathered up the cards and placed them on his desk before lying down next to her.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just homesick," Sara continued.

"Would you go back?" Leonard asked.

"No." Sara's answer was immediate, because she knew instinctually what Leonard was really asking. _Would you leave me? Like Mick had to leave me? Like I left Lisa?_

The atmosphere in the room shifted as soon as Leonard first spoke, but there _was_ no going back now. Sara didn't want to go back. That's what all of this was about. This mission - it was about going forward, changing the future. The whole team knew that from the start, but Sara, naively, hadn't expected this experience to change her in this way. She suspected Leonard hadn't either.

Sara switched positions again so she lied on her side, facing Leonard, supporting herself on her elbow. "Would you?" _Would you leave me, like I'm always leaving everyone? Like when I died? Would you fucking die on me, Leonard?_

Leonard closed his eyes for a full second, and breathed deeply through his nose. When he opened his eyes, he was staring up at Sara. He reached up tentatively to tuck her hair behind her ear, his thumb brushing her cheek, and said one simple word before bringing her down for a kiss, "No."

Sara lied half on top of Leonard, kissing him unrestrained but with precision. She smiled into the kiss, thinking about the fact that _unrestrained but with precision_ was also how she preferred to attack an opponent. And if she could hear Leonard's thoughts right now, she'd know he certainly felt like he was being killed by Sara Lance in this moment.

In an unconscious move, Sara dragged her knee along Leonard's growing erection. That seemed to spark him into action. He groaned against her mouth, pushing up until he flipped them over so he was lying on top of her. Sara went willingly, parting her lips and her legs, inviting Leonard in. It was ironic to her that, with a name like Captain Cold, Leonard's hands could be so warm on her skin as they ducked under her shirt and up her abdomen. His hands inched closer and closer to her breasts, and Sara urged him on by arching her back so he could unhook her bra.

When Leonard reached behind her, Sara hoped they had come to this sooner, if only because they could read each other's physical cues so well. But when Leonard's hands came to cup her breasts, he disconnected their lips for the first time in a sudden gasp. His grey-blue eyes bore into her as Sara simply smiled slyly back, linking her hands behind his neck.

"Take your shirt off." Leonard didn't say _now_ , but Sara heard it in the desperation of his voice.

She sat up as well enough as she could and pulled her shirt off over her head. She tossed it on the floor and let her bra fall down to join it. Sara watched Leonard watching her. His eyes glanced at the scars she had from when she died, but it didn't take long for them to return to her nipple piercings. These were a favorite of hers. They were supposed to resemble lotus flowers. Sara wasn't sure they did, but she liked them nonetheless. And she didn't wear them often because it was easier to maintain the standard barbell jewelry with how much physical activity she engaged in. She was happy now that she changed the jewelry while the team had been on a break. Leonard's reaction was too good to not be happy about her decision.

Leonard cleared his throat. "Explain these, Canary."

Sara laughed with delight. "There's kind of a story to it."

"I can wait. Can you?"

"Ok, it's a little silly," Sara started with a sigh, "but when I came back from the Lazarus Pit, I wanted something - anything - that reminded me of my life _before_. Not just before I died, but from before I got on the Gambit. I mean, that's when everything really changed for me."

Sara paused when Leonard dragged the back of his fingers from her left shoulder down to the curve of her breast. There was nothing sexual about it. He was just appreciating the beauty of her naked, adorned body. Sara had never felt anything so gentle, nor vulnerable. She took a steadying breath before continuing.

"I was kind of a handful as a teenager."

"Oh, I doubt that."

Sara rolled her eyes, undeterred by Leonard's sarcasm. "Anyways, I remembered I wanted my nipples pierced back then. Like, a little rebellion only I would know about. And somehow, I got it in my head that _this_ is what would connect me to some part of my past. I don't know. It's a bit ridiculous."

"It's not the most ridiculous thing I've heard," Leonard said with a shrug. And when Sara leveled him with a look, he added, "hey, I'm not complaining. But I am wondering how I never noticed them."

"Are you saying you stared enough to have noticed?"

"I'm saying I should have, yes. What about when we're training?"

"All my sports bras have a bit a padding in them to protect my piercings."

Leonard made a silent _oh_ with his mouth. He did that hair tuck thing again, staring into Sara's blue eyes and said, "They're beautiful."

Smiling, Sara pulled Leonard on top of her to resume their earlier position. They were content to simply get back in the mood. Soon enough, though, Sara decided Leonard was wearing too many clothes (he always did like his layers), and wiggled her hands between them to undo his pants. Leonard did the same but pulled away again.

"You don't have anything else pierced, do you?" He said this only half-joking and narrowed his eyes at her.

"You're hoping I do?" A teasing tone in Sara's voice.

Leonard shrugged. "You got me kind of curious now."

"Sorry to disappoint," Sara said, giggling out the last word.

"This has hardly been a disappointment." Leonard sealed that with a searing kiss before traveling down her torso.

Sara was thankful when Leonard passed her nipples entirely. People could get carried away with them sometimes, and forgot to pay attention to the rest of her. Leonard did spend a while nipping at her hips though, making her squirm. She was a bit ticklish in that spot, but she was enjoying this too much to stop him. She gave a final moan of yearning, and Leonard smoothly discarded her of her pants and underwear. Sara caught him licking his lips in anticipation, and _that_ certainly sent a shiver up her spine, before he buried his face between her legs.

Internally, Sara cursed Leonard for keep his hair so short because when her hands searched for purchase there was nothing to hold on to. She tried for scratching lightly at the base of his neck to urge him on. When she was rewarded by Leonard focusing on her clit, she thought she could get over not holding on to anything fairly quickly.

With her head thrown back and eyes shut tight, Sara lost all sense for who knew how long. So when she glanced down at him and noticed he was still clothed, she said, "Hey, how come I'm the only naked one here?"

Leonard popped his head up, wiping at his mouth, though his demeanor had changed enough for Sara to notice. He was clearly uncomfortable about something.

"Right," Leonard drawled, not meeting her eyes all the way. He got off the bed to retrieve a condom from his desk and discarded his pants and boxers easily enough, but then hesitated.

Sara glanced down before meeting Leonard's stare with a smirk. He, at least, returned it, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. She sat up on the edge of the bed and pulled Leonard closer to her. But when he noticed where her hand was reaching and where her mouth was moving, he stopped her.

"You don't have to," he said. "Next time." He took a seat beside her.

Sara cocked her head, not sure a guy had ever turned her down for a blow job, but simultaneously pleased there would be a next time.

"What's going on, Leonard?" she asked, though she suspected it had to do with the thermal he had yet to shed.

Leonard sighed. "I don't usually care what people think about the way I look."

"If you don't want to take your shirt off," Sara started, but Leonard waved her off with a hand.

"It's fine," he assured her. He just wanted to get this part over with. Leonard swiftly whipped his shirt off and threw it onto the floor.

"These are cigarette burns," Sara said. She ran her fingers along his bicep and shoulder, the dark, circular welts standing out like an embossment on his skin. Some of them overlapped. When he turned toward her, she saw there were more on his chest, mostly on the right.

"Curtesy of Lewis Snart, my father."

Sara frowned. She felt how most people would in this situation. She felt sad, even pity, for Leonard. Mostly, though, she was angry; but even above that, she was just confused. _How could a parent do something like this to their child_ , Sara thought. Even in his worst moments, Sara never feared her own father.

"I spent my fifteenth birthday in juvie," Leonard began, "and when I got out, I found out my old man had started hitting my sister. He had been wailing on me for a while now, but as long as he didn't lay a hand on Lisa, I didn't much care what he did to me. I guess, without me around, he had to find _someone_ to beat up - Lisa's mom had bailed on us by then. And whenever I intervened, which was always - well, you see what that got me," he finished, gesturing to his upper body.

That was a lot of information for Sara to turn over in her head. More than she thought Leonard would share willingly.

"Is he dead?" Sara asked before she could filter her thoughts. There was a slight quirk in Leonard's mouth that she caught. Obviously, he could tell she was only asking to make sure she didn't have to make a quick jump back to 2016 and find the guy. But, of course, Leonard would never let her do such a thing. Lewis Snart was not worth letting Sara succumb to her bloodlust again. Lewis Snart wasn't worth anything.

"Yes," Leonard answered.

"Good," Sara said. Maybe Sara should feel bad about wishing someone dead, especially when they already were. Like, maybe she was backsliding after all the progress she had made.

"I'm the one who killed him." It wasn't a confession, just a fact.

"You did what you had to do." Sara stared into his eyes, trying to reign in her bloodlust. She had no context, no details, but she had to believe the world was better off without people who abused children. She touched Leonard's cheek and shifted into his lap. "We all have scars, Leonard. I know, they're not the same, but we all have them."

Leonard kissed her, and Sara melted into it. She wrapped her arms around his neck securely as he maneuvered around the bed until he was lying down. Sara bit at Leonard's bottom lip. She preferred it this way, with her on top. She sat up, straddling his hips, looking behind her for the condom. She grabbed it and turned back, getting a bit eager.

"Wait," Leonard said, his hands on her hips. "Just stay like this for a second."

Sara was learning that once he knew it was okay, that Leonard liked to stare at her. His eyes, so blue and grey, could be intense - disarming, even. This was the first time she was naked in front of him, but Leonard could make her _feel_ naked whenever he looked at Sara like that. She shuddered against him. His gaze was cool whereas his skin was searing hot.

Leonard quirked a smile like he could read her thoughts, rolling his hips once with purpose. "Alright, enough stalling."

Sara shot him a wicked smile, opening the foil packet and rolling the condom down on him. There was an adjustment period for Sara, for sure, when she finally took Leonard inside herself. She could tell that Leonard sensed it, too, since he kept perfectly still. It had been a while since she had penetrative sex, or any sex at all for that matter. She guessed, maybe, Leonard hadn't either based on the laser focus of his eyes. It made her blush a little, and she smiled a little as she began rolling her hips.

Her steady movements elicited a groan from Leonard's throat, and he snaked a hand up her torso to her breast. His other had was firm on her hip, but Sara took it and placed it on her other breast, encouragingly. She had always liked that, when partners massaged her breasts as she rode them. Maybe the whole nipple piercings thing was bound to happen.

Leonard's eyes scanned her body and then settled on her mouth. She granted his silent wish and leaned down to kiss him. Sara wouldn't have pegged Leonard as a fan of kissing during sex, not many people were since it was easy to get distracted by all the other stimuli. His enthusiasm, though, was tenfold. His tongue was in her mouth, his hands left her breasts, one returning to her hip as he began thrusting up, and the other slid between them to rub at her clit.

All this spurred her on further, and her movement above him became erratic.

"Sit up," Sara gasped, the _now_ in her voice echoing the one in his moments before.

Leonard complied silently, his back now against the wall.

Sara came down on him with a particularly hard thrust, punching out a groan from Leonard. "I want to hear you."

Leonard laughed, hugging her to him. He looked into her eyes before speaking. "The way you move, it's like you could have been a dancer instead of a fighter. But I'd prefer you as a fighter, I think." He kissed her lips softly. "It's beautiful, though. You're beautiful."

Yeah, Leonard was going to have to come up with a new codename if he kept throwing out lines like that. Sometimes, Sara felt like she was the cold one and Leonard was the one thawing her heart. Though, Leonard probably believed the reverse was true.

Almost unwittingly, Sara slowed down to an aching place. She stared into Leonard's eyes, gasping when he prompted her to just grind against him with his hands on her hips. Another thing he liked to do, it seemed. She ran her hands over the spattering of circular scars on his chest, and then clasped them together behind his neck. Sara kissed him. It was probably the softest kiss they'd shared yet. She pulled barely a hair's breath away and whispered, "You're beautiful, too."

They came undone like that. Not hard and fast, but sedately and weighted with a meaning they didn't have to articulate. Not quite kissing, but gasping into each other's mouths, and clinging together like no force in time or space could tear them apart.

Sara could feel Leonard's heartbeat pulse through every part of him and through to her, and she was betting Leonard could feel the same of her. When she opened her eyes, Leonard was already looking at her. She blushed, shy and vulnerable again, but never disliking the way that stare of his made her feel. It reminded her of feelings she had before the Gambit whenever a boy, or girl, would look at her. She'd never go back to that time, or the person she was then, but she was glad that she could still feel the same things she did before the ill-fated trip. Sara extricated herself from Leonard and lied down beside him. Her thigh muscles were sore but if not for her constant workouts, they'd have turned to jelly a while ago.

Leonard got up to discard the condom and returned to the bed. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Hungry." It was the first thing out of her mouth before she could think.

Leonard actually gave a full-hearted laugh at her answer. It was the first time Sara had heard him laugh like that, and she wanted to hear it more often.

"I mean," Leonard said, "that was the first time for you, wasn't it? Since the pit?"

Sara wrinkled her nose, disliking his wording. "It's not like you _deflowered_ me."

"Yeah, I don't like that word," Leonard said, frowning.

Sara had encounters before this. She hadn't had sex, but ever since Lindsey, she hadn't been so afraid anymore.

"I'm okay," she promised. "Still hungry, though."

"I'll retrieve something from the kitchen," Leonard said, rising from the bed and slipping on his clothes quickly.

"Steal Ray's cupcakes," Sara said excitedly.

Leonard laughed. He'd do that even without Sara asking him. He dropped a kiss to her forehead and left the room.

Sara watched the door as it closed behind Leonard. No, she couldn't imagine going back to her old life. She couldn't even imagine going back to her life from a few hours ago. A few short hours ago she never would have guessed the day would lead to her and Leonard taking action over their feelings instead of just dancing around them, never admitting anything - even to themselves. But she and Leonard weren't those kinds of people. They didn't need to confirm anything to each other, and they didn't need to attach labels. And Sara liked that.

So whatever they were, they weren't going back - only forward.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was just supposed to be a fun little fic about the fact that Sara's got nipple piercings, but for some reason, a lot of this was super angsty. I'm… sorry?
> 
> Oh, and I like the idea of Len and Lisa being half-siblings. So that's just how I choose to interpret/write them.  
> Sara's lotus flower nipple piercings look like [this](https://www.bodycandy.com/products/14-gauge-9-16-leaves-of-the-lotus-flower-nipple-clicker-set)! The standard barbells look like [this](https://www.freshtrends.com/cgi-bin/item/strt_bbl).
> 
> [Reblog fic here](http://demiromanticmickey.tumblr.com/post/181023354040/never-going-back-again-taniaterror-dcs)
> 
> [Tumblr](http://demiromanticmickey.tumblr.com/) ~~is dying and I'm super inactive there now but whatever~~


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